Dog-on-Dog Aggression: Why It Happens and What Actually Helps
(based on Episode 14 of the “All Dogs Are Good Dogs” Podcast)
If your dog has ever growled, lunged, or snapped at another dog—especially while on leash—you’ve probably been told something like:
“Just socialize them more!” They need more exposure to other dogs.” Have you tried using treats when another dog walks by?”
Here’s the truth: these are outdated, one-size-fits-all answers that don’t take your individual dog—or your relationship with them—into account. And in many cases, they make the problem worse.
In Episode 14 of the podcast, I break down what’s really going on when your dog acts aggressively toward other dogs, and why the “fixes” people recommend so often backfire.
Dog Aggression Isn’t a Personality Flaw
I’ve worked with hundreds of reactive or “aggressive” dogs, and I can count on one hand how many of those dogs were actually dangerous in the way their owners feared.
The vast majority were stressed out, overwhelmed, and had no idea what their role was in the world. Some were guarding, some were panicking, and some had simply learned that exploding was the only way to create space and make things stop.
In the episode, I say it like this:
“Your dog isn’t trying to dominate. They’re trying to manage chaos the best way they know how. You have to stop making them be the bouncer of every interaction.”
When a dog takes on the job of decision-maker, greeter, bodyguard, and conflict negotiator, they’re operating way outside their comfort zone. That stress builds, and eventually, it explodes as barking, lunging, snarling—or shutting down completely.
The Leadership Gap
A big piece of the puzzle is how your dog sees you. Are you guiding them, or are they dragging you into every situation with their emotions at the wheel?
I talk in the episode about how many dog owners (without realizing it) put their dogs in the role of protector and decision-maker. If your dog doesn’t trust that you’re handling things, they’ll step in and do it themselves.
But when you show up with calm, firm leadership—walking with intention, creating space, and controlling what your dog is exposed to—they start to relax. They don’t have to control every situation because they trust you’ve got it.
Case Study: Gunner the Space Invader
Gunner was a classic example. A strong, emotional dog who was loud and intense around other dogs—but not actually aggressive in his core. His body was tight, his eyes were wide, and he had no ability to slow himself down.
His owners were told to keep bringing him to dog parks, use high-value treats to distract him, and let him “burn off steam.” None of it worked.
Once I helped reset his leash communication, removed pressure from constant greetings, and gave him a job (walk with me, follow my lead), he softened. Not because we “fixed” him—but because we helped him regulate.
The transformation happened when we stopped asking him to be social and instead taught him to coexist calmly. That’s the sweet spot we’re always aiming for.
Why Forced Socialization Backfires
This is a big one: Stop trying to “expose” your dog to more dogs in hopes they’ll magically become friendly. Imagine being terrified of public speaking and someone signs you up to speak on stage every day “until it gets easier.” That’s not how trauma or fear works.
Instead:
Focus on neutral experiences around other dogs, not direct interaction.
Watch your dog’s body language—look for subtle signs of discomfort before the lunge.
Prioritize distance, calmness, and duration over proximity and intensity.
What Actually Helps (In Real Life)
Stop letting your dog greet every dog. You’re not being rude—you’re protecting your dog’s nervous system.
Interrupt tension before it escalates. You’ll hear me say in the episode: “Correct/Redirect early, not explosively.”
Set up your environment for success. Don’t try to “train through” chaos. Create calm reps. Use space. Control the walk.
Don’t confuse stimulation with progress. A walk near calm dogs is worth more than a playdate full of chaos and tension.
Final Thoughts: Your Dog Doesn’t Need More Friends—They Need You
If your dog is reactive or aggressive toward other dogs, it doesn’t mean they’re “bad,” broken, or incapable of learning. It means they need someone to help them feel safe enough to not react. And that someone is you.
It’s not about forcing your dog to like every other dog—it’s about teaching them they don’t need to react. And that work starts with you showing up as the calmest, clearest, most consistent presence in their life.
If this episode hit home, and you're feeling overwhelmed by your dog’s behavior, I’d love to help. Reach out here and let’s talk.
By Brianna Dick
Owner & Behaviorist
Looking for expert help with your dog's behavior?
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